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Soy you think you can dance?

June 1, 2011

I’ve been drinking soy milk (as opposed to cows milk) since I was a baby because the doctors told my mother that breeeeeeeast milk could lead to early (earlier) onset of diabetes (I was pre disposed to this lovely number so they tested me often) so I sw-sw-switched to soy.

You know when you’re having a laugh and you just want to take the joke further than it need to go? I was in that mood before, but my conversational partner was not. Conflict! Except not really, I just went and listened to some Gaga.

Did you know you can get soy protein powder? I wasn’t aware of this until the other day when I was having a browse of a health store (killing time to be honest) and I spotted this soy stuff. Interesting and good news for vegetarian ballahs who want to bulk up.

Ralph Waldo Emmerson is an author I’m grateful to have heard and read of. He lived from 1803-1882 so I had a laugh when I went on one of his Facebook fan pages and saw a comment that read

“I like your poem so much..”

 This comment is a lolattack on multiple levels because

1) He has not been alive for a long time

2) “Your poem” singular? Really? Oh wait, that’s right, he only wrote one.

 3) Why would you ‘like’ something on Facebook when you clearly don’t know anything about it (and therefore don’t really like it?) and then go on to prove that point by leaving a comment highlighting the fact you are an ignoramus?

I feel like unwriting that whole last bit of this post because it’s not very nice. I called someone an ignoramus! I would backspacebackspace it but I feel like it’s more of a good reminder for me if I leave it here!

 

 

YES!

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Devi-ants

May 30, 2011

There was one ant in my room.

It doesn’t belong there.

It is acting outside the norms of ant society; not only was it flying solo but there are no crumbs or foodlike tidbits to be had in my room. I know this because I actually cleaned it yesterday. Thus, this ant is a deviant. A very cheeky deviant.

If one was to utilise “hedonistic calculus”, what should the punishment for this little ant be? How dare he unlawfully enter my room and act all nonchalant, walking all over my desk. Trespassing, it could be said. AND I just looked at my space bar on my laptop and there. are. CRUMBS under it. How am I to know it wasn’t this impertinent little ant that dropped them there, ready to retrieve later on. I tried to remove the crumbs with a hairclip and failed.

Any way, this ants’ punishment. I took it outside and put it on a leaf. So now it’s very disorientated. I feel sort of bad about that, except since he’s still alive he has a chance of survival and consequently a chance of seeking forgiveness from our Father who ant in heaven.

Hot foot, no sock?

May 27, 2011

My foot is hot because it’s resting on the router.

Mystery solved! Shabang!

I have work tomorrow at 10 thirtay, an excellent time to start.

Today I got asked to lunch by a complete stranger. I said “I’ve already eaten, thank-you though!” No regrets.

Sometimes its good to listen to your gut.

Actually it’s always a good idea

Oh Holy Daze

May 26, 2011

Did I get Lady Gaga’s new CD? Yes, yes I did. I reserve judgement ’til I’ve listened to it properly. However, from a cursory listen, it appears to have a lot of generic electronic noise.

Today I carried my gym stuff around all day and then ran out of time to go to the gym before I had to tutor my little person.

So I just got back from doing that and I thought to myself ohyeahsweetasI’lljustgotothegymrightnow. Trouble is, I’m currently unable to utilise transportation and with the weather as it is I don’t want to be waiting for public transportation. However then my brain came up with another thought, go for a run in the rain! You like doing that. Oh yeah. Good idea.

Then came an obstacle.

I did a blood test.

My blood sugar was

 just 

too

low

to

go for a run.

Haha, do you like how melodramatic I made that?

Yeah, so I’m a Type 1 diabetic. I put that in bold because I don’t like it when I come across sadly ignorant people who don’t realise there’s actually a difference between people who are Type 1 and Type 2. People who are Type 2 can go fuck themselves, I have absolutely zero sympathy for them. You ate yourself into this position, so fucking eat yourself back to normality. Honestly, I think type 2 diabetics should be shipped to a remote island and left to fend for themselves. No supermarkets on this island. No excuses either. They have to eat all natural food and they have to work hard (read; do some exercise) to grow it themselves. They’ll be sweet in no ime. Or they could all up and eat each other. No worries, the world may’ve lost some amazing people who I’m judging too harshly but there would be far less time wasted looking after them. Could spend an appropriate amount of time treating people who have got diabetes (or any other) disease through no fault of their own. Type 2 diabetics have no excuse for existing.

Although, that said… if we look at natural selection for the greater benefit of the human race, Type 1 diabetics should be exterminated, get those dirty genes out of our gene pool thanks.

Anyway back to some egocentric storytelling.

The dilemma here is, that for my blood sugar to go back up I have to eat something, and I’d prefer not to eat straight glucose, no nutritional valuue there, so I have to eat something more substantial to get the carbohydrates I need to be able to exercise safely and everyone knows it’s difficult to run on a full stomach. (Manageable) troubles in this world.

Maybe I’ll just have a cute little home work out to some Gaga number. (probably not this one, however it is enjoyable)

Haha. Right, I’m going to go read about photosynthesis.

Attached to what?

May 25, 2011

Today I saw a man cleaning the windows of a hotel. He was up very high. I was looking at him on the very edgeedge of this building and was relieved to see he was attached to some wires. I looked up to see if I could see at what point the wires were attached to but I couldn’t because the sun blinded me.

Anyyyyway! It lead me to start thinking about this as some kind of flawed metaphor for everythingintheworld. If you find out where the strings are attached you’re going to be taken back to the source.

So, if you have some sort of issue that’s troubling you and you can’t quite seem to shake it, find the strings and they’ll take you back to the start.

Specifically, I was thinking about my reasons for procrastininating to a very unnecessary degree. I think a lot of it stems from the fact that I didn’t develop a strong work ethic during high school because I just didn’t have to work hard  to get really good grades. Further back from that, it may also have something to do with my fear that if it isn’t perfect … fuck it, don’t do it at all because that way you don’t affirm that I can’t do it because I didn’t even try.

Mmmm. I don’t like thinking about this sort of stuff too much because it can end up making you more depressed that you need to be. Taking action is hard, no?

I had a good conversation with a shop assistant in a clothes store today. I always make an effort to be friendly as I know how horrific some customers can be. Just throw what they want at you and expect you to still be civil to them. That’s no way to make the world a happier place. If you can be nice to someone, do it. It’s not even that hard.

ohyeah

Banana on Toast

May 23, 2011

… is arguably the best spread that exists for toast. Avocado coming in a close second.

I just walked for an hour in the dark to get home. While not the state of affairs I had hoped for, it kind of forced me to take some time, chill, and think about things. The universe works in strange ways, no?

I was thinking about the whole universe in terms of Rhonda Byrne’s (well, not hers exclusively, the proponents of this increase ten fold daily but nonetheless, I’d say she was the one who made this the most widely available) “The Secret” and relating it to things I would like to set about changing in my life. I spend a lot of my time distracting myself with largely useless tasks (read this, I’m talking about mass amounts of time in Quadrant 4) while neglecting the stuff that’s going to get me somewhere.

A scary yet eye-opening task you can do, is to write down all the things you want to achieve in life, in as much detail as you can muster.

Do it now. Straight up, I did this today and I ended up stumbling upon some pretty brutal truths.

Then next to each of these goals write what you are doing RIGHT NOW in order to reach these goals.

Eye-opening.

This is such a simple little exercise I’ve discovered entirely by accident, but, my word, scary stuff. Take action because if you’re not doing it right now, you’re not going to see the results in the future, are you?

All you’ve got is this lovely little second. That’s it. That’s all.

Sattitude of gratitude

May 21, 2011

Today’s is Saturday (Sunday actually, but I started this little gem yesterday)

Things I’m holding an appreciative buzz for this week ended Saturhey;

Seth Godin. Always. His existence pleases me greatly. I’ve learnt innumerable lessons from his blog. Seriously, not kidding, I’ll go back through my favourites and find some more for you friends, because to miss out on his thoughts is verging on a crime against humanity.

He deserves a whole multitudes of posts.

That first link I put there succinctly sums up the modern humans’ painfully fallible quest to get work done.

Aloe Blacc. Good Things. I’ve listened to Green Lights on repeat 900 times. No biggie.

“The problem with having everything you want, is that you never really know what you need.”

That satisyfying feeling when you wake up the day after going hard doing something and all your muscles kinda hurt (gym, tramping, having sex, painting walls, whateveerrr, get physical)

Modest Mouse boating over to New Zealand. Mmmm yes please, get dem tickets in my hands.

Waking up earlier than you have to, so you can get ready to leave at a leisurely pace

Having some sort of mutant itchy bite that only itches at night (freeeeeeeeeeeaaaaky)

‘Lovely’ is one of my favourite adjectives.